23 December 2015

Do not be afraid

Christmas is proof of the 'already but not yet.' 
Jesus comes among us now but he will come to us again.

Manila, Philippines

11 May 2015

Memento mori

I do not think I am afraid of death. I am afraid of the life of me that will remain, when or if I pass that is, and the legacy I leave and the words spoken of me freely because I am no more. Did I live well? Was my character kind and honest? Did I love and was I loved? Will be a remembered as a sinner or a saint, or even more honorable to me: both?

So there it is: I fear what people think of me more than my own end. I am not necessarily driven to live more or to live greater in order to leave a better legacy. I have lived a good life. I have traveled. I have read. I have learned. I have seen beautiful things. I have seen sorrow and joy. I have asked hard questions. I have loved someone and I have felt love. I have sought to make my world better, although I haven't always succeeded. I have searched for the kingdom of heaven and I thought I had found it.

Perhaps one thing remains, and that is I have not wrestled with God as Jacob. Do I really want that? Do I seek a true cathartic experience with God? Do I fear leaving bruised and worn, having lost all I love as did Job? Do I really fear death, or do I fear the dying before death, or the living after it?

Southern Luzon, Philippines

26 March 2015

We try to live in such a way that no man may find fault in us

It is my wish to live in such a way that I do not cause offense to anyone, except in situations of blatant immoral injustice, so that no one may blame God for unkindness. That is all I want -- I want to live simply, quietly I don't want to be recognized or famous. I want to do good in the world and be forgotten except by those whom I love and love me. I used to not care about this: I'd try to live my own way ignoring the sensitivities of others. But as I have become more sensitive to others' unkindness, I now recognize my need to be sensitive to the concerns of others.

Manila, Philippines